We had been through a lot together. Shelters for months, movements, one devastating. An attempt was botched, an experiment.
that of June 2005 was the best time. The first walk, laughter together, in the light of just six years old. When he was well Simo was always happy, it seemed that the physical tortures were pearls shining with joy to show.
seemed calm after the la tempesta.
Eppure il 30 giugno la morte. Inattesa, fulminante. I disperati tentativi di rianimarlo, le mie labbra serrate alle sue, già fredde, in un impossibile volontà di soffiargli la vita.
Intravedo con gli occhi pieni di lacrime il suo viso, lo sguardo fisso sembra dirmi: -arrenditi papà, lasciami andare, lascia che si compia il mio destino.-
-Gesù non togliermelo, ti prego- ripeto per minuti interminabili.
E invece Simo và. Incontro al Destino.
Le sorelle, la mamma, tutti intorno a lui. Rimango li ad accarezzarlo per non so quanto. Vorrei sapere, vorrei capire. Vorrei riaverlo, non ho mai capito molto del "i figli vanno lasciati, accompagnati, are given, do not possess special ....", Simo is not the same thing, dick. It is not the same thing. I cry in silence and pretend. But it is a silence filled with that. It is pure desperation. E 'li I feel it. Christ is there. I do not recognize the illusion, but it's impossible. I do not give up but is not there for me despite me.
After five years I have not yet understood, but it does not matter. One day everything will be clear .
It 's a grace it had, I'm sure. I repeat periodically, not like a broken record, I know why.
' s all for a good plan but my kind of man does mean to punch, no surrenders. still.
Sometimes, I think not to resist, the heart seems to tear again. Yet I will have him to thank for. Even though I feel out of proportion, before the grace I have always felt disproportionately. The certainty of
Reunite Simo gives me a sense of tender hope. It makes me feel embraced.
My enduring, silly, anxious to know, to pretend to understand, at least it forces me to think of Christ. A deal with him Is not this a Grace? I imagine
Simo to laugh a bit 'of his dad, we will do together.